


Significant Bloom

by Helloleonardmccoy



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky lost his arm in the war and was sent home, Fury gave up his old job to become a shrink but left someone else in charge, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Probably gonna be more characters later depending on how far this goes, Sams a recovered alcoholic, Scotts still a minor criminal, Slow Burn, Steve has some ptsd, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, War Veteran Sam Wilson, War Veteran Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky has ptsd, but he still has illnesses, clint and natasha work for the government and go into warzones to 'fix problems', gonna try and be a slow burn, meet cute?, not sure if there is gonna be smut but will tag accordingly, steve used to work with them, they all have boundary issues, will add tags as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helloleonardmccoy/pseuds/Helloleonardmccoy
Summary: Bucky has owned the flower shop in town for almost five years now. He has a pretty good routine going for himself even though it constantly involves Sam in multiple occurrences throughout the day, so he thinks life is going pretty well until he goes in for his appointment to get his sleeve worked on and finds out Avengers has a new artist. Who is incredibly hot. Bucky literally walks out of the shop because he’s a hot mess. He will have to reschedule with Nat later.Steve has been off tour for a while and has decided to lay down roots in a small town. He sets up with some friends at a tattoo shop to actually be able to do what he loves. Art. It’s still art even if it’s on a human body. He had even wanted to start getting some more himself since he couldn’t have very many in the army. He is just setting up on his first day when he catches devastating eyes looking at him and leaving before he could even ask his name.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Scott Lang/Sam Wilson
Kudos: 8





	1. Won’t you be my neighbor?

If you had asked Bucky seven years ago what he would be doing he would probably say staying army strong and re-upping. But plans change. It takes one little thing to change your world completely. So now instead of running through deserts with his team at his back he was.... in a flower shop. Not at all where he had saw his life going. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seven years ago Bucky's convoy had ran over an IED and got blown all to hell. They came under fire quickly after that. His team had called in for reinforcements but they wouldn't make it if someone didn't get to turret on the back of the only vehicle not overturned. Most of his team was out so he crawled his whole way there and held down the line until reinforcements came in. He was still firing when someone had to pull him off the turret and tell him it was over. They also had to explain why he couldn't feel his arm before he passed out into blessed blackness.

The first year out was hard. He could barely make himself leave his apartment, let alone bath and shower. His hair grew long and eye bags seemed to be a permanent feature to him now. That was until Natasha got home from her side job, that he wanted nothing to do with since it seemed like some weird government shit, and read him the riot act and had the balls to drag his sister into it. He had met Natasha when he had joined a study abroad project in college and found himself in Russia. He picked up the language slowly but of course already knew what to say in several languages to piss people off. That was how he met Natasha. At a bar trying to stand up for her honor with his shitty Russian jabs. When the jerks had decided they had enough of an American that didn't know how to shut up, Natasha had ended up stepping in. Before the guy even threw the punch she had him down on his knees. The other two were a little slow at catching up so Bucky put them down with a few quick shots. Natasha just smiled and told him to buy her a shot of vodka. They had been friends ever since. She had even followed him back to America where they rented a crappy little apartment that they were rarely at between class and work. They had tried the friends with benefits thing for a while but that end when Bucky ended up being drafted. 

They wrote a lot though. The boys always joked about him being sweet on her but he knew that wasn't were they were headed. After she talked to him about Clint he knew why. That guy was clearly her soul mate. Just as crazy as she was. When he went back home for a bit he got to meet the man and they became friends as well. Clint, and a friend, worked at a tattoo parlor where Natasha ended up. It was called Avengers, which he thought was kinda tacky but he would never say that out loud unless he wanted to die. He knew that she and Clint had probably actually met at her other crazy side job that he still wanted nothing to do with and hoped that he would never learn about until the day he died.

The day that he let her tattoo him finally felt like the day his found family was coming together. He, Natasha and Clint ended up with matching red star tattoos. Bucky's was on his shoulder, which ended up becoming more and more of a sleeve the more he let Natasha talk him into, while Natasha's was small and behind her ear. Clint's was on his ankle. Eventually the fourth member of this group got one placed on his wrist. Thor, a crazy Norwegian who had a thing for beer and video games, quickly shoved himself in their group not really giving them a chance to say no. He loved his little found family he had made so it hurt when he had to ship out again. But it was expected.

What wasn't expected was meeting Tony Stark, the man who made all of their equipment. The man seemed to be self important and full of himself. Bucky snorted when the others started taking pictures with the guy. He had spent very little time with the man after he called him Bonky on purpose after hearing his nickname. So it was a surprise when the man ended up in the jeep with him in the convoy. They hadn't even exchanged words really when all hell broke loose.

Later he would be told that he had pulled Stark from the vehicle and had someone cover him before he headed for the turret. He had never really gotten his memory back of that day. Just vaguely remembered a man saying stand down soldier and picking him up before he passed out. Next he was waking up in the hospital and his whole world was changing.

Natasha of course showed up once he was released from the hospital after she had finally heard what happened, but surprisingly so had his sister Becca. She had given him hell for getting blown up all while crying her eyes out about it. At that point Bucky was on the good pain meds and really wasn't that coherent, otherwise he would have protested the hell out of moving in with Natasha again and having his sister move in as well to take care of him. Don't get him wrong he loved his sister but she had her own life states away and shouldn't have had to drop everything for his depressed ass. He stopped trying to explain this to her the second time she broke out in tears. He was pretty sure she was using it as defense mechanism to get him to let her stay but he wasn't going to argue with it. They had used to be attached at the hip when they were growing up. College had ended up being a hard lesson in the fact that they did lead separate lives but it was also a good one so they would learn to make new friends. Having her back though, he would never admit to anyone, meant the world to him. At least until both she and Natasha started trying to get him to leave the house and actually do stuff. Then it was just hell.

So four weeks into his depressed funk of staying in the apartment he was not showering and barley eating because he didn't want to learn how to do things with only one arm. He knew he eventually would have to face reality and realize that he wasn't going to magically wake up with his arm back one day. He was staring blankly out the window when insistent knocking started at the door. Natasha was at work and Becca was at the grocery so he didn't know who it could be. He tried to let it go but the pounding started to get louder.

"Fucking fine!" He jumped up off the love seat under the window and stomped to the door. He almost shut it as soon as he opened it. "What the hell do you want?"

Tony Stark just grinned. "Just happened to be in the neighborhood and...ok ok don't shut the door. Lets start this over again if I can come in?"

Bucky was very clearly still considering shutting the door when Stark shuffled past him. "Like the place."

Bucky snorted. "No you don't."

"No I don't." The man grinned and Bucky found his lips tilting up on there own. "Look.... I know you don't really want me here or probably want to see me at all but I...Its really hard for me to talk about that day." Stark swallowed felt the color start draining from his face.

"Then maybe don't."

Stark looked up startled like he had already started reliving it when Bucky pulled him out of it with his words. "You're right, yeah. So anyway I started a program...mainly with you in mind but it has done really well. Were starting the live testing of it this week and I wanted to bring one to you first." It was then that he noticed Stark had brought a suitcase with him.

"Look whatever it is I don't want it. If you are thinking you owe me something you can cut that out because you don't." Bucky started to turn away from him, hoping he would show himself the way out when the man cleared his throat. Sighing Bucky turned back.

"Ok how about you take this and think of it as.... you got my mind working on doing better things and actually helping people instead of hurting. You take this and you are helping me work out the kinks so I can help everyone else with it." He patted the suitcase before moving to the kitchen table to lay it down and open it. Bucky shuffled over to look and almost lost his breath.

"That...That's an arm..."

Stark snorted. "Very good eyes there Barnes. Its still in the trial phases, which is where you come in, but yes that should be a functioning arm. Once everything is worked out completely we are working on a skin that can go over the metal so it looks more natural."

Bucky couldn't tear his eyes away from it. It was sleek and shiny, nothing he thought that he would like but there, where it would fit on his shoulder was a star. His star. His eyes darted to Stark who cleared his throat.

"Couldn't work in that whole sleeve you had going on but I talked to your roommate and sister....a lot I might add. They really really like to talk. Anyway they said that tattoo had meant the most to you so..." He quickly looked away from Bucky. "Uh so would you like it or.."

Bucky's eyes started to mist. This man, who he had already wrote off as self centered and narcissistic cared enough to add the one thing Bucky needed to see the most. His voice cracked. "T-thank you." Stark's head snapped over to look at him. "When can we put it on?"

Glee came over the other mans face. "How about right now? We can run through some diagnostics and do some tests of..." Bucky had tuned him out a bit after that, just staring at his red star.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things had slowly gotten better from there. He was still depressed as hell but he was eating more and actually willing to leave the house. He only ever went to the tattoo parlor or to Tony's lab to watch him work but it was progress. Until Natasha told him he needed to start going to therapy or a support group. Then he threw a fit.

It was two more weeks of Natasha's forms of tough love while Becca played good cop before the storm broke. Thor of all people was the one to break through to him.

It had started out as a conversation about his own family. Bucky had always known they had issues but not really heard the whole story. Well Thor was in a sharing mood apparently. Father was a class act, putting all his dreams an aspirations on Thor taking over the family business when really his younger brother had been trying to get their fathers approval so badly and showed so much interest to get nothing in return. Thor couldn't understand if it was because Loki was not his fathers blood child or if it was a weird 'the first son takes over' thing that was always big where he came from. But it had lead to his younger brother resenting him and even trying to ruin him in many ways. His mother was beside herself and never knew what to do other than to keep them all separate. It sounded like a disaster.

So Bucky should have realized that Thor sharing all of this one day was clearly a lead up. "So how did you all work it out?" Bucky had asked dumbly.

Thor laughed. "We didn't." When Bucky went to make a face Thor held up his hand. "What I mean to say is we are still trying to work it out. You've met my brother a couple of times. So you can at least see that we aren't trying to kill each other."

Bucky snorted. "If sass alone could kill....But just talking to him has been helping?"

And he should have known when Thor got the look in his eyes that he had fallen right for his trap. "Talking has been helping but mainly its talking in family therapy and then just sessions between the two of us."

Bucky set his jaw and hopped of the counter he had been sitting on, watching Thor clean up his station. "If this is some claptrap to get me to go see a shrink..."

Thor held up his hand. "If you honestly think I would try to trick you into doing anything you didn't want to, then clearly we don't know each other as well as I had thought." Bucky tried to protest that but Thor stopped him. "Its fine. I know that we may not be blood brothers but we are at least shield brothers. I have shared with you my struggles, and you share yours with me little by little. We honor each other with our trust. But I have a question if you will allow me. Do you think I am weak or less for needing counseling to get to a better place with my family?" 

Bucky sputtered. "Of course not. And if anyone says so I will fight them for you."

Thor smiled. "So why do you think it would be weak for you to go?"

Bucky bit the inside of his lip and looked away.

"It is not weak to need help, especially after a life changing event. It does not make you less of a man." He quickly walked over to Bucky, wrapping him in his arms when the tears started falling. "We will all get to that better someday, but sometimes it takes help to get there. Let us all help you."

"Ok." Came out whispered from a cracked voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Bucky started going to therapy twice a week for a while. He fucking hated his therapist, mainly because he wouldn't let Bucky hide from his feelings. He encouraged Bucky to tell him about his anger at what was taken from him. To speak about how it made him feel like less of himself to be missing something that he had never considered to be so important and then learning the hard that it was important. He had never treated his body as important or something to be taken care of or cherished before. His therapist was helping him discover how to live in it now. He learned that it was for more than just getting around in or showing others a good time or taking a hit. He was starting to like himself from his head to his toes and appreciate everything he could do. He learned that his hands were meant for more than just killing when he was asked to try to learn how to cook. He had laughed in Nick Fury's face at that one but the man had a stone cold resting bitch face and waited him out. 

So he tried the cooking thing. It actually helped after some effort and a little help from Natasha and Becca. But that was another thing Nick wanted him to work on. Letting others in again and letting them help him. He had friends and he had been hiding from them. He had been sealing himself away in his own head to try and save himself from anymore hurt. But he didn't need to worry about that with his friends. The problem was that Nick wanted him to go out and meet new people. He had actually laughed a little at Bucky's balking face.

"I don't mean go out and start picking people at bars, Barnes." He snorted at the thought and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Look, there's a group that meets every Thursday. Its not mandatory and they don't care if you miss some, attendance is not taken. But I want you to try going to it. See if you can meet people in a similar situation as yours, maybe find some other people to talk to as well."

Bucky frowned. "Why does this sound like you're trying to send me to an AA meeting."

Nick snorted. "Probably because I'm trying to send you to a VA meeting. No, wipe that frown right of that face. Have I asked you to do anything that you couldn't so far? Have I asked for more than you can do or are ready for?"

Bucky just bit the inside of his cheek and didn't answer. Which is what he normally did when he knew Nick was right and Nick knew he would never admit it.

"That's what I thought. All I'm asking is that you give it a couple tries. You say you hate it our next session, then fine you never go back."

Bucky crossed his arms. "Fine." He had progressed to going to therapy every other week or longer if he was having really good days so he knew he would probably get at least two or three trips to the VA meetings in. He held no hope for liking them and keeping them up. He hoped that not getting something right for once wouldn't upset Nick too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn't end up upsetting Nick at all because the fucker was right. It took him a while to open up but he ended up liking the guys in the group a lot and they had even started going out for beers sometimes. Unfortunately his new self appointed best friend was one Sam Wilson. He had tried to shrug the guy off so much at the beginning. Unfortunately he wasn't taking any of Bucky's sass and gave it straight back to him. It made the VA group joke and call them the mom and dad always fighting. Of course Sam said Bucky was the mom because he had better child bearing hips. He got punched for that. With the cool robot arm.

After a while he really got to know Sam very well, to the point that when Natasha decided she wanted to move in with Clint and Becca wanted her own place, Sam took over as roommate. He swore he had never agreed to let the man so far in his life but all he got was that dumb smile and saying aw you really love me.

Sam also talked him into finding a hobby. And 'A real hobby Barnes not extreme couponing'. Bucky scoffed. How did Sam think they got all the food they had and all the nice furniture? From Tony?

So he started a garden on the deck to their apartment. Which then turned into a garden in Natasha and Clint's backyard and Becca's. Then sending Nick plants even he couldn't kill in is gloomy office. Finally everyone sat down with him and asked him when he was going to make it a career. The thought.....hadn't even crossed his mind? Sure it was fun to give everyone flowers he had grown and learning all of the meanings of course made it even better but he had never thought of doing it for a living. But what else did he really have to do? Yes he had money from the Army. A lot, he could be comfortable till the end of his days probably but....he was bored.

So Sam went with him to look at different store fronts and places to set up. They figured out everything he would need, where to order extra flowers from that he wouldn't be able to grow himself in the back of the space and how to advertise. Sam even sat with him when he did the interviews since he decided to be a silent investor. They ended up hiring a soft spoken man named Bruce, who they eventually learned could get very angry when someone tried to rob the place their third week open. He was sheepish after he had to explain that he had tackled the guy to get the gun away and then basically sat on him till the police came. They laughed very hard and then told him to never do it again so he wouldn't get hurt. Sam also set him up with a boxing membership since clearly his yoga class wasn't working as well as he wanted it to. They had also hired a young man named Pietro for deliveries. The kid was....fast was an understatement. He was a little much to take in. Shock white hair on top of his head, talking a mile a minute and never sitting still. He was a lot to take in at first but he got the job done. Surprisingly he was the brother to the receptionist at Avengers. Where Wanda was soft spoken her brother was very very loud. Bucky ended up liking both of them anyway.

But of course after spending so much time with Sam and practically being up each others asses he got to know the man better. He learned that Sam had a partner, a husband that he had lost while they were both in the Air Force. It had hit him hard for a long time. If he didn't have his friends to bring him back, he probably would have been at the end of a bottle till the day he died. He gave all the credit to a friend Bucky still hadn't met yet but would soon apparently. He was moving to town after leaving the Army and he was actually setting up at the tattoo shop with Natasha. He thought that it was a really small weird little world that Natasha actually knew the guy through her super secret side job that he now unfortunately knew somehow involved the military. But thankfully for this friend, Sam pulled himself up by the boot straps and kicked his ass into gear. He started working at the VA. He met some of the guys in the group that way and finally had found a place for himself. He of course still struggled hard and was having problems finding things to ground himself without his husband but he was taking it a day at a time. He started going out and becoming a functional human being again. And then one day he met the man that he knew he would never want out of his life and knew that he had to try harder and do better. He would always love his husband Riley, but he felt like he had somehow put this man in his life. He was a complete goofball just like Riley but they were also opposite in so many ways. Like the first being that Sam that same met him in an ice cream shop dealing with an asshole kid and somehow being the one to seemingly get chewed out for it. While he was in the back Sam gave the kid a rash of crap but was worried when the guy came back out. He quickly caught him outside and asked him if he wanted to grab a cup of coffee and talk about it. The man had never shut up since, which Sam was surprisingly thankful for. He learned about his past and didn't judge and actually had him working at a different center for released cons looking for work. It had all worked out for Sam.

And now Bucky.....Bucky was running his flower shop, living his best life and getting his sleeve on his other arm worked on whenever he had a moment. Avengers always had flower deliveries so he would always deliver them himself so he could talk with everyone and never felt out of the loop. They all hung out some nights after work at different places and he could honestly say he was happy and had friends. He was finding a place for himself now and he was content.

Or he was until he went to Avengers on day to get his sleeve worked on and ran face first into someone on the way back to Natasha's station. As soon as he looked up into stunning eyes he knew he was in trouble. Taking a step back out of the mans space and maybe checking out his body on the way just sealed the deal. He squeaked out a 'fuckimsosorry' and turned tail and ran back to the flower shop which unfortunately wasn't even all the way down the block or as far away as he would like to be right now with his face flaming red in embarrassment. Not his most dignified exit but he would take it. There was no way he could deal with some Greek gods wet dream today. No way.


	2. Its the very wrestiling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve’s pov/life so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Sams life is thrown in and may be hard to read as it deals with the loss of his husband and struggle with drinking. I struggled with writing that into the story and it may be lacking because of my personal inability to deal with situations like that well.

Steve hadn’t really ever thought about not enlisting. It had always been a dream of his ever since his father had served but he didn’t think he would get a chance to follow in his footsteps. He had grown up a sickly, small child. His mother was a nurse and did the best she could with him but it was hard when even a small wind could take him down and out. At least until the money came in from his fathers death which ended up basically fixing all of their problems. It was a horrible way to suddenly find yourself standing on your feet in the world because of the loss of another.   
  


So Steve, now healthy as a horse, had of course enlisted. He had always looked up to his father, in the short amount of time he had with him, and had wanted to do what he did when he was older. He wanted to serve his country and it didn’t hurt that he would be stopping bullies while he was at it. He had always had a problem with not standing up to bullies while growing up. Any injustice that he saw, real or perceived, he was the had of god that would deliver justice in his mind. Didn't matter that he had been a ninety pound asthmatic asshole. Now that he was a muscular asshole he was keeping up with his morals. So he enlisted.

What he hadn’t thought about though, was that he would have to take a life. Several, in fact, in his military career. It started breaking him down a little inside. He had always believed in standing up for whats right and making sure that those who couldn't take care of themselves were protected, but the death was eating away at him bit by bit. He ended up in a special unit leading covert ops that most had no clearance to even know about. He thought that would make it easier, knowing they had no alternative but to send him in. It didn't. By the time he finally found himself settling down again in the states, purple heart in tow, his soul felt weighed down. Luckily his friend Natasha thought she had a perfect fix to get him happy again. Art.

Well, rather tattooing his art on peoples bodies, but it was still art. And that is where his heart had really lay this whole time. He had taken so many courses in it growing up but had always been told that it wouldn't lead anywhere career wise and that he had bettered stick with his military ideas. So he had.

Now he was setting up in one of the rooms of Natasha's studio.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The house he ended up buying was a single story two bedroom. He had started looking when he had gotten his discharge papers and this place had seemed ideal. He didn't realize it was in walking distance from downtown where he would be working. All he had been thinking was it was a good house to start with if he had wanted to raise a family. That had been the plan up until Peggy decided that British Secret Services were more her style than cruising around with American soldiers in the middle east. They had a very big fight about it and he bought the house out of spite.

Hes been slowly getting art supplies to fill the second room with. Anything that will take away the reminder that he eventually wanted to hear childrens voices coming from there. So he started with paints and blank canvases. Then tried his hand at clay, which he did not like the feeling of, no thank you. He found that he still really liked to draw. He would walk around down town and pick out places and people to sketch and then come back home to try and paint the scene on an easel. It was peaceful. Until Nat came over uninvited for a movie night and decided to snoop.

Steve had just come back from getting beers from the kitchen to find her gone from the living room and Clint looking sheepish. He glared.

"Hey at least Im waiting until after the third visit to snoop. Cut me a break." Clint rubbed the back of his head, looking down the hall where Natasha had obviously gone.

"I would have given you one if you had stopped her." He handed Clint the drink and walked down the hall sighing. He peeked in the half bath, where she wasn't and then heard a clang and curse down the hall in the studio room.

"Natasha!" He pointed his finger at her as she looked up from a sketch book with a grin on her face. "No. I don't like the look. The last time I saw that look bad things happened and I want nothing to do with it now. Put it down and go back to watching Die Hard." He held out his hand in a gimme motion but she just shook her head.

"When has my look meant anything other than good things happening? This is my look of I have a great idea that you will love."

"The last time you had that look I met Peggy." He folded his arms across his chest.

She rolled her eyes. "You cant blame me for the outcome of that. Yes I introduced you but I did not single-handedly steer your relationship."

He sighed in defeat. "Fine. You did not sink our relationship in the mud, we did that. But you did send me to get shot at several times on rescue missions, the last of which I got my purple heart for."

"Im sorry, what was that? I helped you rise in rank and gave you all the adventure your little hero complex heart could want? Yeah your right that does deserve a thank you. Youre welcome Steve." She smirked up at him. "You would have been bored without me and my ideas. You should really consider Hill's job offer. Youre going to go stir crazy here painting all day."

"I dont paint all day." She raised her eyebrow and glanced around the room in an 'oh really' movement. "I also sketch and tried my hand at other avenues of self expression."

She snorted. "Well let me help you with that before you move on to the self expression of interpretive dance." She dug around in her back pocket and pulled out a card. "Maybe if you wont work for Hill, you'll work for me?"

He took the card and inspected it. "A tattoo shop?" He looked up at her wide eyed. "Nat I don't know anything about tattoos."

"No one just starts of knowing how to tattoo a body, Rogers. You intern and practice. You just have the raw talent with your art work that means when youre done practicing you will make on hell of a tattoo artist."

"Nat, I dont know," He looked down at the card again rubbing that back of his neck.

"Just think about it Steve. Ok?" She patted him on the shoulder before going to join Clint on the couch.

Steve sat the card down on the empty easel with one last look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve and Sam hadn't had time to catch up in a while. The last time they had saw each other was probably the worst time in Sam's life. They were both back from an active warzone, but Sam had just lost his partner and husband over there. Steve was there for him as much as he could be. He practically moved into Sams guest room to take care of him, which made his family worry a little less. After the funeral they all had to go back to their jobs and their lives but they didn't know how to do that with Sam in so much pain and only getting relief from the end of a bottle. So Steve stayed. He cooked and he cleaned and he tried to keep Sam afloat all on his own but it wasn't working out well for him.

"Sam, we gotta start talking about the drinking." Steve had said over one night when Sam missed dinner again because he passed out on the couch.

"Or we don't and also pretend like we didn't." He had curled into himself tighter on the couch and had given Steve his back.

"Your mom called again Sam and I had to tell her you were asleep. Again." He sat down in the chair closest to the couch. "You cant keep living like this."

Sam shot up like a fire cracker. "Man, stop pretending you know what my life is like. Mr Captain fucking America who goes around the world saving people when they are in trouble. Where were you when I needed you huh? You don't know what its like to watch your whole life go down before your eyes. Riley was my whole life. You don't get to tell me how to feel about that!" His voice was almost at a yell and his whole body was shaking. Steve didn't know if it was the anger or if it was the alcohol.

"I'm not telling you how to feel about it. But the way you have decided to cope with it isn't going to work if it kills you."

"So what? So what if it does? My whole world is gone, I have nothing left."

Steves jaw set in a hard line. "Now I know thats just the alcohol talking because you dont mean that your family is nothing. Or that your friends are nothing. You are hurting. I see that. We all see that. And it hurts us that you are hurting and theres nothing we can do for you."

"Oh it hurts you so bad huh?" Sam asked sarcastically as he reached for another drink.

Steve knocked his hand away. "Yes Sam, it does hurt to see a man I look up to hurting so bad that he would rather drink himself into an early grave then get the help he needs."

Sam shoved him to the floor and they wrestled around the coffee table before Steve finally pinned him. "The help I need? The fucking help I need is to have my husband back."

Sam was crying in his arms now, the first time he had cried since the funeral when he had started drinking to try and numb the pain. "Its ok Sam. I've got you." Steve hugged him tighter when that only made him sob harder.

"What am I supposed to do now Steve? How am I supposed to live without him?"

"We go one day at a time Sam. Thats all I can ask of you ok? But please say you will go to counseling with me? I don't want to lose you."

Sam hiccuped and clutched at Steves shirt before giving a quiet ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Progress isn't linear, Steve had heard. He felt it when he was trying to help Sam. It felt like every step forward there were two back. Sam started talking to his family more, started leaning off the drinking and seeming like he was ready to start therapy and then his first trip out of the house in months, something triggers him and hes right back on the bottle. It goes like that for a few more months. Baby steps till finally he and Sam are at the doctors office and hes nervously tapping his foot.

Steve put his hand gently on his knee. "It will be ok. Natasha said this guy used to be in our line of work so he knows what we've been through."

"He lose a husband in combat too?" Sam asked snarkily. He had been sober for about two weeks and it made him a little more cranky than usual.

"Can't say that I've lost a partner, but hopefully losing my eye measures me up with enough experience for you."

Steves head whipped around to the man and he quickly stood up to shake his hand. "I didn't know you made a job change."

Fury snorted. "Sorry I don't keep you appraised about everything in my life, Rogers." He turned to Sam with an appraising look. "Im going to cut the shit with you right now. You walk into my office its because you actually want to start feeling something other than the anger and depression that is ruining your life. I wont lie. Its going to be hard. You lost an important part of your life but that doesn't mean you have lost your life completely. You walk in my office, its because you want to try and start learning how to live again."

Sams jaw locked in what Steve had learned was his angry face but surprisingly he didn't start yelling or walking out the door. He glared at Fury for a minute before standing up. "I want Steve to come."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Sam had been in therapy for a while, things had started to get better. He had stopped drinking completely and was thinking about life outside of the military. He was honorably discharged so he could find a whole new career for himself. He found his calling when Fury had been sending him to VA meetings for a while.

"Its so different there Steve. Almost everyone in those meetings are struggling but we all come together to try and support each other. Can you imagine what its like when you have no one to lean on in your life? Most of those guys have no one, no family, which is why they come to the meetings. I have my family, you and all my other friends. I cant imagine what it would be like without that support."

Sam got teary a lot recently when he thought about how his life was headed if Steve hadn't gone all tough love on him. It normally makes Steve tear up too so he tries to avoid it at all costs. "We why don't you volunteer at the VA too?" Sam looks over at him dumbfounded. "What? You already volunteer at the soup kitchen and animal shelter. Why not here too? You could become an active part of supporting them. Try and give them what the people in your life gave you."

Sam shook his head in disbelief. "You really do think that everyone has the same amount of will power as you do, dont you? That if we think we can, then we will?"

"Why not? Isn't that how most things work?"

Sam laughed. "Only for you I think."

He still ended up joining the classes on how to get qualified to work for the VA. Steve ended up being shipped out again after Sams first time leading a meeting but he was glad to have been there for it. He could see that Sam was no longer just drifting, but actually living again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first person to see him when he came back to the states permanently and help him move in was of course Sam. They had kept in touch while Steve had been away so he was mostly caught up on life here but he still wanted to rib Sam some while he could.

"So when do I get to meet this Scott that you wont shut up about?" He said while catching his breath after moving the couch into the living room.

"Man shut up. Been back for two minutes and already trying to start shit." Sam kicked his ankle as he went to grab them cups of water. "We're too new to subject him to your terrible cooking and still expect to keep him." He said handing Steve a water.

"Hey! You've been together almost a year which is long enough to have warned him about my cooking."

Sam snorted. "Warning is not preparation enough." Sam drained his cup and then stood up stretching. "I should probably ask Barnes who Fury sent him to for cooking classes. Maybe we could send you too."

Steve laughed and patted Sam on the shoulder. "I don't think even cooking lessons could save me now. Who's Barnes? New friend?"

Steve flopped on the couch, which was the last thing they had to move in to the house and looked at Sam backwards over the armrest.

"He is. And hes also my new roommate. Moving in with you and then my sister when you had to go back on active duty was great and all but I thought it was time to spread my wings again."

Steve smiled at him warmly. "Im so proud of you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple weeks after the ambush in his art room he had finally given in to Natasha and come to the shop. She had sent Clint and his puppy dog eyes over and it had been a lost cause from the start.

"I swear were much classier than what ever back alley shop you are thinking of Steve." Clint said as he was pulling him down the street towards Avengers.

"I mean, I can see that Clint. Considering youre not even in a back alley." He said dryly as the door swung open and he was shoved inside. His mouth did hang open for a couple of seconds while he took it all in.

There was an honest to got waiting area when you walked in the front door. Faux white marble floors and dark navy walls covered in some of his earlier artworks met his eyes. He quickly looked at Clint who was grinning from ear to ear.

"We all donated our personal artworks from you to make this gallery full and fantastic. What do you think?"

"That you should probably get some better art." He said halfheartedly while he was still looking around in awe. There was a fire place off to the right with a flat screen tv above it showing the news. Some brown couches were against the walls with coffee tables in front of them. Books were open on the tables, he assumed they were showing off some of the artists works. To the left was a receptionist counter, in a brown island like counter with a marble top that obviously had shelf space behind it since the girl behind the desk was typing away at a keyboard.

Clint clapped him on the back and pulled him over when he noticed his attention had finally drifted from the rest of the room. "Steve, this is Wanda our receptionist. Wanda, Steve."

The girl gaped at him for a moment before sticking out her hand. "Hi, Im Wanda."

"I just said that." Clint complained before walking down one of the two hallways out of the waiting area.

Wandas cheeks started to turn pink and Steve was quick to try and sooth her. "I think he must have missed nap time. It was nice meeting you."

He heard a 'you too' as he hurried after Clint down the hall.

The man gave him a brief tour and then showed him the empty room at the end of the hall. "This will be yours when you finally say yes."

"Who says Im going to say yes Clint?"

"You haven't turned Natasha down on any of her plans so far. Why start now?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His apprenticeship didn't take as long as he would have expected, but they said that in part is was because of his natural draw to any form of art and taking to it like a duck to water. So here he was, setting up his new room. He was just getting ready to step outside for a coffee run, when something warm and solid slammed into him. He looked down quickly to see a mesmerizing pair of green eyes looking at him. He also got a quick look at fluffy hair that looked very soft before he heard a squeak of 'fuckimsosorry' before the body in front of his was quickly running out the door. He went to follow only to see the man run into the flower shop across the street. He may have been to mesmerized by his ass to follow in that moment.

"What did you do to Bucky?" Wanda asked before coming out behind the counter to peer around Steves shoulder at where the man had just disappeared to.

"What the hells a Bucky?" Steve asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This still felt choppy to me. I had to reread my first chapter since it had been a while since I wrote it and I forgot where I was going with this one. Sams struggle was very hard for me to write about and I don't know if I will be touching on it in later chapters since I did so poorly with it in this one. Basically what I wanted to come across was that he was in a bad place, trying anything else with him didn't work so Fury had to tough love him to get him in the right mindset to actively want to get better. His recovery was not in a matter of months but years and I don't know if I expressed that well enough in this chapter. When Steve is gone its for a good amount of time but he doesn't leave until Sam is able to not have to be watched all the time. 
> 
> I also briefly mentioned Peggy. I am hoping to touch more on that in the next chapter maybe. 
> 
> Tattoo apprenticeship normally takes about two years. For the sake of this Fic Im saying it didn't take that long. Im already bad with the time line I don't want to make it more convoluted. 
> 
> Thanks for struggling with me so far, I am hoping to have a better layout for the next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> OK so I have been writing this and I hope it makes sense. I would love someone to read these for me before I post them so I know Im being coherent and not a rambling idiot. Someone wants to volunteer hit me up at abby1600 on tumblr lmao. But anyway this was supposed to be a one shot...... and now its not. I am not very good with finishing multi chapters but I'm hoping this one wont be too long. 
> 
> Please let me know if I missed tagging anything. Next chapter I think is going to be from Steves view. I haven't decided if I want to do the two separate views or strictly from Buckys pov so let me know if you wanna see Steves. 
> 
> Also disclaimer, I have not been in the military. I do have google. I looked some things up so if they are wrong feel free to message on tumblr so I can fix them. Closest I have been to the military was my grandpa and my uncle and I didn't learn a whole lot of terms for things. 
> 
> If you would like to tell me technical names for flowers and what they are supposed to mean I would love that because I can see myself eventually using them down the line. 
> 
> I also planned on this fic having a few more couples possibly down the line but Im not sure if I want to put them in. You can also play the guessing game with that if you want or who other characters I will be adding in are. 
> 
> So basically my gist is I haven't slept in like three days due to stress so I thought I would just finish it before AO3 decides to delete it so sorry if its trash and I'll try not to be sleep deprived for the next chapters? Maybe? Thanks for reading.


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